I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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