No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
