gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He shit in the fireplace
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