absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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