Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
