I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
