i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
