Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sext me about skeletons
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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