we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
