He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
