my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
