Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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