The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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