If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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