he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
