My hand turned me down
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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