Yo dont text me then not text me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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