Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
