you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
