Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
