puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just googled if crying burns calories
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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