You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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