please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
