I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
