That's intense
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
