Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
