Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize