Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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