apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
