I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She bit a glass in half.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
