i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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