honey bunches of taint.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
