what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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