Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You've changed since you got that strap on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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