i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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