so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize