in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
