420 ftw
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The air was thick with penises
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize