I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he puts the penis in happiness.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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