"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize