I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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