You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
