Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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