If that was your dad, he is hot
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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