Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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