yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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