I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize