Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
