you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm always down for nudity.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
