Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
