One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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