I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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