Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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