Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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