Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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