He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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