i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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