just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
