she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
