I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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