their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
